1st March 2012

I cant find any listening ear. But i guess it's becos my problem, i expect too much from people thats why i still dont wanna say out t anyone my innermost feeling. So darn depressed so darn stuffed up. Posting on twitter and facebook attracts too much attention thus i figured out since my blog's so dead and deserted it might be the best suitable place whereby nobody would give a fuck about what i post.
I seriously dont know what th hell is going on with my life. 2012 seems so peaceful but actually i guess it's th most disrupted year throughout my life. Be it relationships with people, love life or lifelong future plans, this year has th fucking most twists and turns. Since 2011 december ever since i started working, i've be stunned countless of time when i found out my future is actually planned out so darn complicated but in a bright way. Just still cant accept th fact that i wont be able t spend times really innocently for a teenage. Future's been pathed, accepting it is th only way although expectations are really high. I dont know if this counts good or bad..

Ever since 300911, i realised im falling deeper and deeper, but i cant seem t let myself up shallow-er. All seems so well and perfect, felt so blissed at that point of time. Guess cus its th start of honeymoon period. As time passes, conflicts arised and i feel more and more insecure. Why? Why do you have t make me fall so deep where i thought i could entrust my future t you and end up t found out you havent seems t get over your ex? Since then, i felt tad of betrayed and you just cant understand how much my heart hurts... Last time we contacted, you said you did not do anyth wrong t me and even asked why i dont trust you. I cant bring myself t rake up th time where i saw your 'notes' cus im fuckin afraid you'll just blow and abandon me. 1st one... Youre th first t let me act this way. End up when i thought it was a stable one, what happened? You can say im selfish or just admit youre insensitive. I really detest myself when you saw my weak or vulnerable side.. It just make me seem like im getting your sympathy. Like i mentioned before i just want your true pure love , honesty, care & concern, communication and pamper. I really dont wish you would be stereotyping this love of ours cus of your previous experience thus treating me like im just a burden in your life. How t make u think im not like her? So after youve been hurt and know me well, i still dont deserve your 最真实的爱情? This makes me so darn depressed and hurts alot alot alot alot alot... I dont know what else t say...
Just loads of love & misses.